Good morning Mom! She wakes up these days with a hairdo that’s a little like “Ursula”, the sea witch, from The Little Mermaid because she likes to tease her tresses in REM sleep.
Since my last post, Mom has become dramatically limited in movement. She can no longer stand on her legs and the left leg is starting to curve into the right leg. Her left arm is very still and she holds it close to her side. Perhaps this all has to do with right brain/left brain activity. I guess that being right-handed all her life still gives her dominant side some motor control. She can still feed herself a muffin or a cookie but needs help with any other food she tries to eat. Her appetite is good as is her mood and we can all tell she is very happy and comfortable to be at home. She smiles a lot and sometimes breaks out in a laugh. These are bittersweet times for me and just seeing her face light-up helps get me through long days of limitations. I get out of the house for a few hours every day when I have a hospice aide with Mom. Sometimes I will find myself at Stop & Shop with a cart full of groceries and realize that I have no time to check out. When that happens I’ll just ditch my basket in the isle and try to get my groceries all over again the next day. I’m constantly racing against the clock like Ciderella only my coach is a car that’s about to turn into a pumpkin if I’m not home by noon to relieve the hospice aide.
Once again I have been overdue in posting updates. I’ll be honest— it’s been too painful. I’ve been experiencing a wide range of emotions lately. Both Mom and I shared a love for the creative process our whole lives and yet something about watching Mom slip into this final phase of Alzheimer’s has made it very difficult to verbalize my feelings. It’s as if watching it’s as if watching Mom slowly lose her voice to aphasia was somehow affecting mine. Now I realize I can’t let that happen. Just as Mom will sometimes rally in a conversation at the table and surprise everyone with an assertive comment, I know that now is the time to be vocal as well.
